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I wrote to him just a little bit ago. But I took a less than spine-filled way of doing so.... I wrote it on wordpad; logged on; immediately put up my away message; copied and pasted the text into an email; sent it; and logged right off without removing my away message. I don't know for certain if he IMed me. The AOL Away Message feature doesn't really tell you if people IMed you while it's on. It only gives you a list of people who IMed you when you turn it off. And if you log off without turning the feature off, it doesn't show you who IMed while it was on.
But I noticed his name on my buddy list. I didn't feel like sticking around and talking to him in person. I'm tired. I'm still sick. And as I said already.... I'm a coward. I don't really like dealing with people's immediate reactions when I think they're going to be upset about something. I'd much rather let them get over their first reactions at a safe distance, then work things out once everyone's inclined to be more rational. I think that's part of why I didn't email him earlier in the week. I could have made the time if I'd bludgeoned my brothers enough to get off the computer.
I don't _think_ his reaction will be that bad, though. At least not as bad as I feared. Unhappy as I was this week, acrimonious as my thoguhts sometimes were, the actual letter when I made myself sit down and write it wasn't as harsh as my initial reactions would have made it.
Maybe that's why I try to deal with upset people at one remove until they can calm down. I know they'll be in a better mindframe if they get the time. Or at least part of me just hopes so, because it's how I'd react.
The letter wasn't angry. What it was, was clear and to the point. Unless he really is denser than I've ever had reason to believe him before, it'll straighten things out between us.
Here's hoping.
But I noticed his name on my buddy list. I didn't feel like sticking around and talking to him in person. I'm tired. I'm still sick. And as I said already.... I'm a coward. I don't really like dealing with people's immediate reactions when I think they're going to be upset about something. I'd much rather let them get over their first reactions at a safe distance, then work things out once everyone's inclined to be more rational. I think that's part of why I didn't email him earlier in the week. I could have made the time if I'd bludgeoned my brothers enough to get off the computer.
I don't _think_ his reaction will be that bad, though. At least not as bad as I feared. Unhappy as I was this week, acrimonious as my thoguhts sometimes were, the actual letter when I made myself sit down and write it wasn't as harsh as my initial reactions would have made it.
Maybe that's why I try to deal with upset people at one remove until they can calm down. I know they'll be in a better mindframe if they get the time. Or at least part of me just hopes so, because it's how I'd react.
The letter wasn't angry. What it was, was clear and to the point. Unless he really is denser than I've ever had reason to believe him before, it'll straighten things out between us.
Here's hoping.
