(no subject)

Che....

I'd say romance is over-rated, but I still love him.

Even though he apparently flew riiiight past the point of my email when he decided what to get upset about, and took the opportunity to air some _other_ things that have been bothering him for quite a while. I don't entirely agree with him about most of it. But he's right about my procrastination of seeking medical attention, and he's right that we badly need to talk.

Unfortunately I just don't have the energy or the emotional strength to work this out right now. I finally got to see my doctor Tuesday. The idiot registration nurse tried giving me an appointment in the middle of Feb.... -_- The triage nurse was more sensible. My doctor's verdict, after hearing my tale of gastrointestinal woe, was.... unsettling. I'm going to have to see other doctors, and get tests done. This does not fill me with glee. But I'm doing it. I'm beyond the point of being tired of this physical pain. I'm exasperated with it. I want it to stop. If that means enduring annoying, time-consuming, and even humiliating procedures, then I'll grit my teeth and go through it.

I just wish things were ok between Josh and me now. I need his comfort and affection now more than ever. But I'm not going to get it until we fix things, and I can't fix things until I get over the turmoil my doctor created with some of her suggestions about what's wrong. -_-


One damned thing after another....