CN not the source of all fanfic evil

I think I'm going to cry.

A lot of the people I know online like to bash the quality of fics found on TMFFA since TM! started airing on Cartoon Network. But fanfiction.net has just proven that a series can attract really lousy, even lethally awful, fanfiction authors, without appearing on CN.

Couple examples from my recent meanderings through the Slayers section... A little something called Mazoku All Day, supposed to be about what Mazoku do with themselves between schemes to destroy all of creation. Decent premise, something good could have been done with it, I figured.... Nope. Outside of an omake or prologue, script format's one of my usual danger signs. But even that wouldn't have had to kill this fic. What killed it was the just plain inane sillyness of the scenarios in each chapter. So much could have been done to make this into a gem of a spam fic... ::sigh::

Or the poem concerning Phibrizzo's dying thoughts. Again, could have been damned good. But, the author seems to be under the impression that the childish form Phibrizzo chose to take meant he really _was_ a child, and wrote his mental state upon dying accordingly. -_-

Premise: Mazoku, humans, and dragons from the Slayers universe have been reborn in another world, without many of their past lives' memories, and now must join foces to save the universe. Turned out to be yet another "insert Slayers' cast into a modern-day high school" - badly - fic...

Xellos in another dimension, as Filia's wife, because of one of Zelas' plots... Turns out to be a Slayers/'The Family Man' blend. Hated that movie. Has Nic Cage _ever_ been in a decent movie aside from Escape From Alcatraz?!


Badly done as all hell Zelgadis and Amelia romance fic, with hastily thrown in Xellos/Filia and Gourry/Lina pairings.

Here's a sample: "Zelgadis deathglared at Martina, as Xelloss would murder him if he glared at his lovely wife of 4 months. Ever since a "booty call" eight months ago, while Amelia, Zelgadis, Lina, and Gourry were so-called "chillin", Xelloss and Filia were tight as glue. Not like elmers glue, like super glue that can stick your fingers together and you won't get them apart until you figure out what dissolves the shit (Nail Polish Remover)! "

My heart's all a-twitter at this breathtaking depiction of the courtship and marraige of two higher beings, with very complex personalities and hot tempers, who in the anime almost always are at each others' throats, and not in the manner of a couple who are suppressing lust for each other. Asuka and Shinji are excellent examples of two people who act like they hate each other but secretly care for each other, or at least fantasize about each other at three am. Xellos and Filia are excellent examples of two people who loathe each other and would prefer to be on separate continents.

I won't get into the poor quality of how the author handled the romance of Zelgadis and Amelia, who were _supposed_ to be the main couple of this fic.... -_-;;;;;


Then there's the ones that scare me off right at the premise... Slayers/Yu-Gi-Oh crossovers... Xellos/Zelgadis gay romances... "This is a crossover b/w (majority of characters) Slayers, Cowboy Bebop, Yu-Yu Hakusho, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and inspiration from Mon Colie Knights, among other things."....

One thing that tempts me to ghostwrite polite but firm emails in the name of the Kawaii Shrine Maiden Ninjas... People who grossly mis-spell Sylphiel. I realize that there's a certain amount of variation in the spelling of her name in other countries, and I don't mean to bash fans from foreign countries who love the series enough to write in English and post to ff.net in hopes of reaching a fresh audience. But "Shaphiel"? And "Saphiel"? I don't think I've _ever_ seen that on any of the overseas websites I've seen dedicated to Slayers. This same fic writer perpetrated something even worse. Zelgadis has a new love interest, an original character. He and she bump into a group of his friends, which includes Gourry, Amelia, Xellos, Filia, and 'Saphiel'. He reluctantly introduces her to his friends... but 'Saphiel' is not included.... -_-

This gem got progressively worse as the chapters went on. I felt like one of those rubber-neckers watching an accident on the freeway... I just couldn't quite drag my eyes away from it, even though I knew I should look away.

Maybe I really will write to this person.


I did find a couple Xellos/Filia fics that had promise. ^_^ And a description of how the Mazoku Lords decided to creat their primary assistants, such as Xellos. Still haven't found any appearances by Sylphiel. The author who butchered her name and underutilized her so much I'm not sure why he even added her name doesn't count.

We need more Faces, damn it. Somebody's got to defend Sylphiel's literary honor. I'd do one myself, but my fragmentary Sylphiel fic is even more moribund than my Xellos/Filia fic. ;_; Even Plug's threatened ValGaav/Syl pairing fic would be an improvment. It's a nutty concept, but he's got the writing skill and the balls to make it work.

I haven't forgotten Slayers: Go! Or Slayers: Clouds. They're both excellent fics, and while they don't feature Sylphiel-hime, they have good solid characterizations of the characters they do feature. They have coherent plot. They have wit and style. Unfortunately Trix and tTAN haven't updated those in a while. I'd love to find some new authors with equally worthy fics. I might have to try hitting Google and finding the websites run by the individual authors.

Grah... took me til three am to wander ff.net and finish writing this. I'm heading to bed.